{the wrath of the filthy 50s}

We do girls, we do heros and we do filthy stuff at our gym.  All workouts that will shred you in anywhere from 3 1/2 minutes to 54 minutes.  Tomorrow will be no different.  I will have my second meeting with “The Filthy Fifty”.  The Filthy Fifty was conjured by some sick CrossFitter that thought 500 total reps in a single workout would be a good idea.  And you know what? Ask any CrossFitter and they will say, “Yeah, it is a good idea”.  This workout will test you to the core.  Your VERY core.  I naively went to battle with the 50s after three days of very little sleep and no food.  Foolish was I.  Hell, I’ve given birth three times with no drugs.  I’ve survived tragedy in my life. I’ve survived “Fran” and “Fight Gone Bad”.  50s?  You don’t scare me.  Well, I should have been a little scared.  I figured, I’ll just pick a steady pace, just finish the workout. I wasn’t worried about time.  That was a great plan until the wall ball shots, the third to last skill.  About 10 shots in I thought, “this isn’t going to be pretty”.  25 shots in, “oh crap, I’m only half done and I seriously think I might pass out”.  Somehow I finished, onto burpees.  10 down, oh SHIT! Turn around and fall to my knees. About 10 more, turn around and fall to my knees AGAIN.  About 10 more, grab the nearest rower and hold on until the dizziness goes away.  During this a friend told my coach, “Pull her!  She has hardly eaten or slept in three days”.  Coach B, “no, she can do it” And here is where the encouraging words of an excellent coach and a will you didn’t know you had will push you to your limits.  Five burpees left and Coach B grabs my hands and tells me,”you only have five left, you can do it.  After you finish you will skip the double unders and give me 50 singles and then you will sit down on that tire”.  Believing him I step back and somehow finish those last five burpees with my friend doing them and counting beside me because I was too gone to count.  50 singles and a seat on the tire.  How the hell did I do that?  How the hell did I push through that?  How?  I CrossFit.  It lights a fire in you and breeds an athlete that maybe you didn’t know was there.  So tomorrow, I say give it to me you Filthy 50.  I know what you can do to me.  You tried like hell to drive me into the ground and I won.  Tomorrow will be no different.  Give me all you got and it still won’t be enough.  I win.

{chaotic soul}

So yesterday I was setting up this blog  and I was choosing a fun background.  I was looking for something that was green and brown.  Not just any green, but peridot green.  August’s birthstone, my mom’s birthstone.  That is irrelevent to this post, but now maybe you have learned something new for the day. So back to my background.  I didn’t find green and brown, but I found one that seemed soothing and calming to me.  It is subtle and has a little beauty to it.  So I went with soothing and calming, but my mind has been stuck on another one that I looked at.  I didn’t care for the background, but the title has been rattling around upstairs and is opposite of what I chose.  “Chaotic Soul”.   “Chaotic Soul”.  That struck a chord in me.  I had a chaotic soul not long ago.  Too overwhelmed, missing something, tired, busy, overscheduled, dare I say “lost”, needing something, lonely.  That’s tough for a mom.  Not sure where you belong. Not just wanting to be “mom”.  Wanting something of your own.  Living with a chaotic soul can be draining.  But, if you have a “chaotic soul” you just might be lucky enough to stumble upon something that starts to fill you up.  I found a friend, encouragement, rediscovered my husband, found another friend who is true to me, tried something new, went back to something old, found a community, got reaquainted with my creativity, made a new friend . . . I could go on.  I think (okay, I know) I still have some chaos going on in my soul, but it doesn’t seem heavy anymore.  Chaos makes you hang on tighter and fight harder.  It makes you pay more attention to what you need and what you don’t need.   It makes you learn to survive with what you have lost.  It makes you learn to say no and take your own advise.  You learn to shake your head at the chaos and say, “no thank you, not today”.  Sometimes it makes you walk down the hall, crawl under the covers and cry.  But you know what?  Sometimes a good cry is okay and what you are really doing is crying some of that chaos out.  So embrace your chaos and wake up to tomorrow.  Don’t let it drag you down.  Welcome the good chaos and just say “no thank you” to the bad.

{hello world}

Here I am world.  Inspired by a friend that blogs regularly.  I don’t know that I will have anything exciting or important to say, but here I am nonetheless.

So this is me.  I’m a mom.  I’m a wife.  I’m a CrossFitter.  I’m a coach.  I’m a friend.  In the midst of all of that, I’m me.  Ask me who exactly “me” is I probably won’t be able to tell you.  I take care of my family, can’t seem to keep my house clean and sometimes have dinner done on time so my hubby doesn’t have to pitch in.  I’m a wife that gets overwhelmed easily leaving my husband to just wait out my moods.  But, I’m a loving wife, married to the love of my life 16 years this past summer.  I CrossFit. I ditched the typical gym mentality that included elliptical trainers, lateral raises, lat pulldowns, bicep curls, etc. for a method of training that will drive your Global Gym into the ground.  But that is just my opinion.   I love my friends.  Online, local, friends from the past, friends that touch your soul, new friends, long-distance, reaquainted, like-minded, etc.  I don’t get to spend near enough time with them.  Coffee, anyone?

So that’s the beginning of my blog. Just introducing me to the world.